Veteran of the Psychic Wars
by Mirloc
Summary: Part two of a series of short stories. H/G R/HG. A little of this a little of that... Takes place after the events of Through Early Morning Fog I see.


Veteran of the Psychic Wars  
  
You see me now, a veteran Of a thousand psychic wars I've been living on the edge so long Where the winds of limbo roar And I'm young enough to look at And far too old to see All the scars are on the inside I'm not sure that there's anything left of me  
  
"Wands out ya reckon?" The voice echoed out of the past, haunting him time and time again. Harry Potter sat in his bunk fingering his wand, perfecting the twirl Sirius had taught him so long ago. It had become a nervous habit in the past three years.  
  
"Potter! Let's go, we leave in ten minutes." A disembodied voice called out to him from the still-dark camp.  
  
He heaved himself to his feet, and grabbed the satchel with his day's rations, maps, and items in it, opened the tent flap and stepped out into the muddy ground that marked their 'little slice of paradise' Ron had called it when they arrived so, so long ago.  
  
Ron sidled up beside him, handing him some cold toast. "You missed breakfast, again." It was a statement of fact, no accusations or chiding.  
  
Harry obligingly ate the offered food. Ron had found that Harry wouldn't refuse to eat something offered to him lately, and had been unofficially become Harry's babysitter.  
  
The lined up with the rest of the members of their unit, and were unsurprised to see a new officer. Ron muttered "Five minutes."  
  
The soldier to his right stifled a laugh. "A galleon says no more than ten Weasley."  
  
Ron nodded "You are throwing your money away Young, but you are on."  
  
Harry sighed and started to close down his mind again, clamping down on everything.  
  
"Potter, are you ready?" Moody growled at him.  
  
Harry's face impassive, he nodded. "Of course Moody, I'm ready. Let's go and get back."  
  
Moody looked at Ron meaningfully and Ron nodded back slightly. Harry took all this in and inwardly groaned. They really need to stop worrying about me.  
  
The battle like the countless ones before it were over a metre of land that, in Harry's opinion wasn't worth a knut let alone the lives thrown away over it.  
  
The map looked vaguely familiar to Harry, but he shrugged it off, and prepared for the mass Portkey. He had only paid half a mind it was like everything else: they were the good guys; the bad guys wore a different uniform. Keep the good guys alive, kill or capture the bad guys.  
  
Remotely deep down inside of him something stirred. "There is more to this than killing Harry." Dumbledore had told him that. They were fighting for something. Something worth all the bloodshed, and the bodies. He shrugged it off and concentrated again on blanking his mind.  
  
Harry glanced over at Ron. "How long Ron?"  
  
Ron checked his watch. "Ten minutes. You steady there mate?" His eyes betrayed the worry and concern he had been feeling for his best friend since they landed in this pit.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Harry shuddered slightly and Ron's eyebrow rose a hair.  
  
"Moody." Ron said, and Alistair Moody clomped over to them. "It's starting again."  
  
Harry shuddered more violently this time, as he mentally willed the return of his control. "I - I'll b - be f - f - fine d - dammit!" Harry growled out.  
  
"Potter, infirmary." Moody growled.  
  
"N - no M - Moody, I - I'm g - g - going." Harry protested, the shakes hitting him with violent force.  
  
As soon as they came, they were gone, and Harry stood his ground. "I'm going Alistair, and that's final."  
  
Moody stomped off "There's more Black than Potter in that addled head of your boy."  
  
Don't let these shakes go on It's time we had a break from it It's time we had some leave We've been living in the flames We've been eating out our brains Oh, please don't let these shakes go on  
  
The unit returned via portkeys to their base, they had lost a dozen men all totaled. Harry was in his tent shaking, the memories of three years of killings echoing through his mind.  
  
They all thought that Harry shook because he was scared, and reviled what he was doing. But it was a lie, it had been when he told it to Dumbledore, and it still was now, three years later. The truth is he was shaking because deep down, something primal stirred that liked to kill, and every day he felt another piece of him sink to the level of the thing inside of him.  
  
The thing had a name, one that he knew oh so well. It had entered him over twenty years ago, through a rift on his forehead. The sliver of Voldemort lived in him, and every day he fought he was more and more Voldemort, and less and less Harry Potter.  
  
A sudden flash and Harry looked up and saw his image in a mirror. At first he had been fooling himself, telling himself that the redness was his eyes being bloodshot, he simply wasn't sleeping well enough. But now, the green of his eyes swam in a blood red background. He shook violently, and knocked over his canteen, water spilled over the floor. He lay there shaking, watching the water pool around his feet, imagining it to be blood.  
  
Suddenly, he was thirsty, and dropped to his knees to pick up the canteen, but he found himself lapping the water from the floor.  
  
The tent flaps opened, and Ron stood there frozen, Harry was on all fours growling at him like some feral animal. "Harry?"  
  
Ron's voice penetrated the fog that had wrapped itself around him, and Harry shook his head visibly regaining self-control. "Ron - Help." He passed out.  
  
Harry woke later on in a white room, and recognized the medical tent immediately. "What happened?" he croaked.  
  
Ron appeared by his side. "Harry? You ok in there mate?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "I need to speak. Privately." His eyes darted to the curtain.  
  
Ron nodded and cast a quick silencing charm, and suppressed the guilty look before turning back to Harry. "What's wrong Harry? Be honest, you've never been this bad before."  
  
"He's taking over Ron, I can feel it." Harry said after taking the water Ron offered and drinking it. He handed the cup back and Ron handed it back full. "I can feel him inside of me, look at my eyes Ron, you can see him in there. I know you can."  
  
Ron nodded. "When you don't keep the charm up, your eyes are cruel and red mate. I can barely make out the green anymore." He laughed a bit. "Ginny used to tell me at night that the thing she loved most about you was your eyes."  
  
Harry shook violently. "Don't R - Ron, I - I can't think a - about her n - now." He pushed the memories far back into the recesses of his mind.  
  
"I got a letter from Mum; she said I was supposed to make sure you come home soon." Ron said changing the direction of the conversation.  
  
"I - I can - can't g - go there R - Ron, y - you kno - know that." The spasms settled down. "Look at m - me, I'm a wreck. I sound like Quirrel, and something so terrible is trapped inside of me, I can't dare let it near people."  
  
Ron looked longingly at his friend. "Harry, they are going to send us home for six months soon. You have to go somewhere."  
  
"I'll talk to Alistair, he'll let me stay."  
  
"No he won't Harry. He's been talking to me, says you've been here too long, we both have. It's time to go home and stop fighting, for a while at least."  
  
"I'm the only one that can beat him." Harry said finally after a long pause. "No one else can, I'm the only one."  
  
"God dammit Harry! Where the fuck do you get off?" Ron's anger was intense. "You stubborn jackass! You complete and utter bloody fucking prat! It's time to bloody well go home."  
  
Harry rose to the bait. He laughed sourly "Home? Do you know where home is Ron?"  
  
Ron hit him. "The Burrow you ass! Your home is in the Burrow with your bloody wife you ignorant piece of shit!"  
  
Harry kicked out and Ron tumbled through the curtain, Harry launched himself at Ron, growling the feral growl from before, teeth bared, and his eyes now completely red. "You know nothing Weasley!" He lifted Ron off the floor, and threw him through the doors into the outer area of the portable hospital. Nurses screamed for the MPs, who arrived just as Harry launched himself on Ron a second time.  
  
Five of them cast stunning spells on him, but Harry shook them off looking at the guards slowly falling back to the main door. Harry followed them, trying to get them before they wore him down.  
  
At the door a figure stood before him. "Harry. It's time to rest Harry." The old man said. He raised his wand, and uttered a charm, Harry swayed on his feet, and fell over.  
  
"Thanks Lupin." Ron said.  
  
"Think nothing of it Ron." He began looking Harry over. "Was Harry bitten?" He asked worriedly.  
  
"Not that I know of." Ron shrugged.  
  
Lupin looked at Ron closely. If Ron said he hadn't been bitten, then there was probably no chance of it, nothing happened to Harry that Ron wasn't there for anymore. "Well, let's see what we have here then."  
  
The doctors examined Harry for a while and found nothing wrong, meanwhile Moody called Lupin and Ron into a tent to discuss Harry, and the conversation he and Ron had just had.  
  
Ron ashamedly took out the one way that Moody had given him, allowing Moody to hear what had been going on Moody had summoned the MPs and Lupin sure that Harry had been bitten.  
  
"What's in him then?" Moody wondered aloud.  
  
"Not what Moody, Who." Lupin said looking at Ron. "And you know, don't you Mr. Weasley?"  
  
Ron nodded. "Harry believes Voldemort is in him, in such a way Occlumency isn't working anymore to keep it at bay."  
  
"I think the time has come where Potter becomes an ex-soldier." Moody stood up and handed papers to Ron, "You too Weasley." He half turned and stopped. "Keep an eye on him Ron. He really needs everyone now."  
  
You ask me why I'm weary Why I can't speak to you You blame me for my silence Say it's time I changed and grew But the war's still going on, dear And there's no end that I know And I can't say if we're ever I can't say if we're ever gonna be free  
  
Ron grabbed the last of their gear from the train, and dropped the bag at Harry's feet. "It's time to go Harry. We've a bit of a walk, but we can Disapparate once we are outside of the town."  
  
Harry shouldered the bag, and nodded mutely.  
  
Ron reached over and muttered something under his breath Harry didn't catch. "All right then, let's go." They walked to the edge of town, and Ron stared Harry in the eyes. "On three, we go to the Burrow, understand?"  
  
Harry nodded and drew out his wand. Ron hadn't heard Harry's voice for over seventeen hours. "One, two."  
  
"Help!" Harry and Ron both turned, and saw a woman running towards them screaming. "My house! It's on fire!"  
  
Ron looked behind her and saw the tendrils of smoke, he and Harry bolted for the structure, and saw to their horror, that the lower floor was burning, and from the upper floor, a child stood in the window crying for help.  
  
Harry vanished.  
  
Ron watched, and saw a cloaked figure wrap itself around the child and jump from the window, impacting on the ground with a thump and an Ooof" from the figure.  
  
Harry stood shakily, and from the folds of his cloak a little girl ran out and jumped into her mother's arms. "Is there anyone else in there?" Harry asked still shaken.  
  
"No." She said sadly looking at the house. Just then the muggle fire trucks arrived; Ron and Harry turned and left in the confusion.  
  
Ron looked at Harry and smiled. "Ok, this time for sure. On three then. One.two.three." They vanished, appearing at the end of the lane leading to The Burrow.  
  
Harry placed a hand on Ron's arm. "Ron, I - What if she doesn't."  
  
Ron looked at Harry "What if she what Harry? Moved on? It's not like we were declared dead. She's up there waiting for you her husband to come home. How many times do I need to beat you up about this?"  
  
They walked to the front door; Harry took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Ron shouldered him roughly. "Stop it you prat, it's not a war, we are coming home."  
  
Home. Harry had never really had one before. Everything good had been taken away from him, ripped away painfully.  
  
He and Ginny had married the day she graduated from Hogwarts. They lived in the Burrow, and spent the four months prior to Harry and Ron leaving for War Wizard training.  
  
That day had been the last time he had seen Ginny. Oh they had written, Harry had exhausted owls sending them winging to Ottery St. Catchpole, but they were words on paper. Not the feel, taste, the scent.  
  
Ron opened the door. Arthur was home, Harry looked puzzled, and Arthur's head appeared over the copy of The Daily Prophet. His brows narrowed in agitation and surprise at someone having the audacity to barge in on him. "My lord." It was the same thing he had said when he realized who Harry was when they met first nineteen years ago.  
  
He stood shakily "Ron? Harry?" his voice was barely a whisper.  
  
Ron grinned widely and ran to his father and embraced him. "Thank god you are home."  
  
Harry grinned slightly; his eyes strayed to the clock on the wall. His and Ron's hands clicked to HOME, and the clock chimed softy twice.  
  
Molly walked out of the kitchen and looked at the clock there was a soft crash as the dish she was holding broke when it hit the floor. She turned and saw Ron still holding his father, and Harry standing awkwardly in the doorway. She bustled over and enveloped Harry in a warm hug, holding him tight. "My boys are home at last."  
  
Don't let these shakes go on It's time we had a break from it It's time we had some leave We've been living in the flames We've been eating out our brains Oh, please don't let these shakes go on  
  
Ron turned to see Harry's face lose all the façade's he had built up over the last few years. Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and a voice that shook Harry to the core sounded from the stairwell. "Mum, are you ok?" Ginny's voice called out.  
  
She swung into view, and let out a shriek, Molly barely had time to move before Ginny impacted with Harry sending them both tumbling out of the house onto the front porch.  
  
"Ginny." Harry gasped. "Ginny..." his voice sounding slightly strangled. "I - I can't b - breathe."  
  
Ginny blushed and got up, and then grabbed Harry holding him to her, as if daring anyone to come between them.  
  
She ran her fingers over his face and hair, as if memorizing something dear to her that was going to vanish soon.  
  
"You are really home then?" She asked hope rising in her rapidly.  
  
He looked at her sadly and she felt it all come crashing down. "He's not dead yet Ginny. We have six months, and then we have to go back."  
  
He let his bags hit the ground and enveloped his wife into a deep kiss, and a warm hug. "For now, let's concentrate on now."  
  
They walked into the living room, and Harry received hugs from Hermione and one from Arthur. The conversation was guarded, and kept 'light', and Harry could tell, but he allowed it to flow away from him, it was unimportant.  
  
What nagged at him was that Ginny was sitting as far away from him as was possible, and not be obvious about it. Of course I'm not exactly who I was when I left either. He reasoned allowing his mind to play out the last couple of years. It wasn't something he was remarkably proud of, but he had been lonely, and letters were only good for so long.  
  
He allowed his mind to wander back to a time just over a year ago.  
  
"Potter!" Moody handed him his mail. "Weasley!" Harry turned with Ron clutching his letters. He could see Hermione's letter in his hands, and one that he knew Molly had written the two of them.  
  
They reached the tent, and Ron went to his cot and began reading Molly's. He always did telling Harry that he liked to savor Hermione's letters and read them last. Harry, on the other hand always opened anything from Ginny then Remus and finally any other Weasley.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
God how much I miss you.  
  
He smiled, and read on a very personal account of their last time together, and what she was going to do to him next time they were in personal contact. He squirmed uncomfortably on the cot reading and sighed. He needed a particularly cold shower.  
  
He finished the letter, and carefully folded it up placing it with the others in his trunk, and grabbed a towel. He muttered "shower" to Ron and headed out. Ron grunted and kept reading.  
  
Harry reached the showers dropped his towel and clothing in a locker and stepped into the communal shower. It had been something of a shock to find out that there was no men's and women's shower in the camp. But it was no longer a major issue for him; he had eyes for only one person. He knew of some who dallied, and a few of the women and at least two men had offered to 'help him through' the lonely nights.  
  
He had politely refused them all, but then again, he had been fresh from her arms the other times, this year they hadn't been allowed to go home. He hadn't even seen his wife for over a year, and her letters had become far more explicit over the last few weeks.  
  
He was snapped out of his reverie by the appearance of a Spotter, someone who went ahead of the main unit spotting sites for Apparation points, and setting Portkey routes, as well as functioning as observers for troop movement. It was demanding work, and only some people were good enough for it. Carly Nelson was one of those people; she was smart, funny, and a real trooper when it came to pulling extra duty. Harry had found himself talking to her on a number of occasions.  
  
"Hey Nelson, I'll be out in a minute." He called; she had been one of the few who were never quite over the communal shower system. Harry didn't blame her he had caught glimpses, and had he been single.  
  
She looked up startled, and Harry saw the obvious signs of crying. "Wh - Oh! Harry! I - I'm so sorry. I - I." her voice trailed off, and Harry saw a series of emotions flicker over her face. Suddenly, her face hardened as she came to a decision. She disrobed and walked into the shower.  
  
Oh shit. Harry tried to occupy his mind with anything other than Carly's body. "Can I borrow your soap Harry?" Her voice sounded from next to him. He nodded dumbly.  
  
She reached across him, and brushed against him; he closed his eyes and focused on Ginny. "S - so h - how's Howard?" He asked trying to do anything to stop the thoughts clawing their way to the forefront of his mind.  
  
"Do me?" She asked. Harry's eyes popped open; she was standing in the shower next to him looking coyly over her shoulder. He took the soap from her, and felt the desire to feel her soft, smooth skin under his fingers and worked the soap into her back. I am so dead.  
  
She took the soap from him, and turned him around sliding her soap slick hands over his back. His eyes fluttered shut, and he suddenly felt her hand sliding. "Hey!" he jumped.  
  
"Come on Harry, it's been how long for you? Eighteen months, right? It's not about love Harry, it's about lust. You need this, I need this." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss.  
  
They left the shower with Harry feeling like he was the worst person on the planet. Even Voldemort was a saint compared to him. He had betrayed Ginny.  
  
Later on Carly confided in him that her husband had written her that he had 'found himself' with a new woman, and she had been sent divorce papers. She had come to the showers to kill herself.  
  
Great he thought as she poured her soul out to him even in cheating on Ginny I get the nobility angle.  
  
He hung his head in shame, she noticed. "Oh my god Harry, your wife..." Suddenly she realized what had happened, and she appeared to realize the full impact of her actions on him. "I - I'll write to her, I'll explain everything was my fault."  
  
"No. I'll handle this Carly." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "It's my burden to bear, not yours."  
  
He returned to his tent and fell onto his cot. "Harry, where's your towel and soap?" Ron asked.  
  
Towel and soap, what in the bloody hell...they were still in the shower tent. "Shit, I left them in the tent Ron. I'll go get them."  
  
"Uhh, no, that's ok, I'll pick them up. I've got to go there myself anyhow. He picked up his things and headed out. Harry noticed Ron still hadn't read his letter from Hermione. Odd.  
  
He shrugged and tried to write a coherent letter to Ginny explaining what happened. He had erased the ink so many times that he had to go to another parchment.  
  
Dear Ginny,  
  
I cannot express in mere words how I feel about you. You are everything to me, and I could never do anything willingly to hurt you.  
  
He had ended the letter without ever divulging his dirty little secret. The owl went out to Ginny that night.  
  
Once the ice had been broken between them, He and Carly had discussed and decided that they should stop this before anything happened to destroy his relationship with Ginny. It had been buried, and Harry was willing to put that there for good.  
  
Ginny felt something odd with Harry but wasn't sure what it was. He seemed hesitant to touch her, after dinner as they sat and talked, she gave him some space to se if he would close it, but it was as if a wall had formed between them.  
  
He knows. A sudden shock coursed through her. He can see it in me.  
  
They went to bed that night, and while it was enjoyable, they both seemed to feel detached, as if watching puppets acting out a play. When it was over, they had a clearly defined line between them. The wall was back.  
  
She woke the next morning, her head laying in his chest, one of his arms draped over her shoulder, and the fingers absentmindedly drawing small patterns on her shoulder. Suddenly a wave of guilt crashed down on her and she pulled away from him.  
  
"S - sorry Harry, I - I have to go I'm supposed to meet Hermione, we were going shopping." Her eyes darted around.  
  
Harry smiled a soft genuine smile. "It's ok love, I'll be here." He rolled over and went back to sleep.  
  
She hurriedly got dressed and ran downstairs. Hermione was smiling, and cooking. "Hermione, don't ask questions. We need to go out. Now!"  
  
Hermione looked confused, and suddenly a realization struck her. "Ok. Give me a minute." She loaded the breakfast on a tray and headed upstairs.  
  
She was dressed and back in ten minutes and they left the house.  
  
"So what's wrong then?" Hermione asked already knowing the answer.  
  
"He knows, I am sure of it Hermione!"  
  
"I told you to tell him straight away, he'd understand. This is just your guilt; Harry just isn't that good of a Legumis, though he is excellent at Occlumency." She said sounding very reasonable. "I didn't tell anyone, and neither did you, and I am quite sure he didn't either."  
  
"How can we be sure Hermione, it could be something he used to antagonize Harry. You know he would."  
  
"Yes, he has changed a lot since school." Hermione thought back to the young Colin Creevey. "Who would have known?"  
  
Ginny had been reading Harry's letters for just under a year, and Hermione had been out of the country researching a spell in Egypt. She had been exceptionally lonely. It was their second anniversary, and Harry's last letter was a major disappointment. He would not be home anytime soon.  
  
A school friend had invited her to her wedding, Ginny had gone intending on making her appearance and then fleeing back home. Colin had asked her to dance, and bought her a drink. They talked long and he listened, she woke up the next morning in a hotel room, with a headache and an equally unclothed Colin beside her.  
  
A week later she spilled her story to Hermione who consoled Ginny, and vowed silently to never leave Ginny alone again. Though she considered having Ginny tell Harry the truth, she also realized what a devastating blow this could be to him.  
  
Ginny's letters to her husband started becoming less flowery and more explicit. She was pleased to find his were too, and it did wonderful things for her mental stability.  
  
But now, he was home. They discussed the problem in full. Hermione told Ginny that it will become a wall between them if they don't move past it.  
  
Ginny admitted the wall had already formed. They talked for a few more hours and then returned to The Burrow. Harry and Ron were already up and discussing the day.  
  
Hermione walked behind Ron and whispered in his ear. Ron got a goofy look and they disappeared up the stairs. Ginny sat next to Harry, and took a deep breath. "Let's go for a walk Harry."  
  
He looked at her and smiled. "Sure, should we take some food?" He stood and opened the cabinet grabbing a well-work picnic basket, plopping it on the table and opening it. He rooted about in the refrigerator for a few minutes and placed food in the basket, and then cast a charm over it.  
  
Ginny watched this all with amazement. This was nothing like the Harry she had gone to school with. How was she going to break this to him.  
  
Harry woke that morning to someone kicking his foot. "Ron, if you do that one more bloody time, I'm going to kick your arse from here to Hogwarts and back."  
  
He heard Ron's laughter. "Nice jammies there Harry."  
  
Jammies? I don't wear. Harry's eyes snapped open. He was disoriented, his wasn't the tent. He hear Ron pull up a chair.  
  
"I know mate, I damn near put a hole in the ceiling when I woke up." He looked wistfully outside. "We didn't move last night mate. We are still at home." He stood up again. "Mum's been working like a house elf, and there's more food downstairs than I have seen in a month. Come and get something Harry." He left the room, closing the door softly behind him.  
  
Harry got up and rummaged around for his clothes, and found them all neatly put away in the dresser Molly had bought for him years before.  
  
He walked downstairs in jeans, a t-shirt and trainers, an odd feeling of being displaced and yet home kept him very disoriented. He walked into the kitchen and Ron was right, there was more food than Harry had seen in months. They ate their fill, and then some.  
  
They were talking to each other about the day when Ginny and Hermione came back from shopping. Hermione walked up behind Ron and whispered something to him, and they left us alone.  
  
Ginny had sat beside him, and in her poised and sweet voice asked if we could go for a walk. Not knowing what else to do, because he certainly could not bear to be near her, he was unclean, and last night had only made it worse, he had tainted her as well.  
  
He jumped up and suggested food, digging around in the refrigerator for leftovers from last night, and some juice, he packed them in the picnic basket he had retrieved from the closet. He charmed the food to stay cold and nervously led Ginny out in to the year, and along a path they had walked many times before.  
  
They reached a small glade, isolated from the world, and Harry sighed, placing the food and a blanket on the ground, he cast a few temporary wards to repel people and cast a silencing charm, and then turned to look at Ginny. He could see it in her eyes; she could tell something was wrong.  
  
"Ginny, love." His voice stopped, he reached in the basket and pulled out a glass offering her some juice and gulping one down himself. "I - I think we need to talk about something." Yeah, like I am total slime.  
  
Ginny's eyes looked overbright as she looked at him. "Yes." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I - I am sure we do."  
  
"Ok, before I say anything else. I want you to know you are the single most important person in the world to me. I don't deserve you."  
  
Ginny looked at him oddly. "No Harry, you are fine. I'm the one who failed you."  
  
Harry didn't seem to be listening to her, his eyes were unfocused, and the words came tumbling out as he told her everything.  
  
He sat in silence waiting for the inevitable. He had cast the silencing charm to make sure no one heard her screaming at him. This punishment was for him alone.  
  
Ginny followed Harry to a clearing they had frequented when they were dating, and she watched as he cast silencing charms and repelling wards. He wants us to be alone. He's so sweet I definitely don't deserve him.  
  
He turned to face her wanting to talk and being kind offered her a drink. He finished his off and started to speak, he wanted to talk about something, and she was sure she knew what it was. That bastard Colin had told him, he had rubbed it in Harry's face.  
  
Then, much to her amazement and surprise she heard him telling her of a moment of infidelity. It had happened shortly after the episode with Colin, and she could see the hurt in his eyes.  
  
"Oh!" She let out after Harry had stopped talking. "Oh Harry." Suddenly she felt something horrible rising in her.  
  
She clapped both hands over her mouth, and tried to hold it in but they wouldn't stay in. Laughter was bubbling up inside of her.  
  
Harry snuck a peek at her after he finished and seeing her eyes closed in agony. Her hands over her mouth. No doubt to keep from being sick at what I just told her. He was feeling completely miserable when the first giggle escaped from between her fingers.  
  
"Oh god Harry." She blurted out, and then seemed to sober up.  
  
"Ginny, I - if you want me to leave, I'll understand." He looked utterly defeated.  
  
She smiled at him. How can she look at me like that? He felt like the lowest of the low, and here she was being far more than forgiving, almost as if she were relived.  
  
"Harry, there's something I need to tell you too." He looked at her angelic face waiting for the axe to fall.  
  
Oh, this is rich. The Great Harry Potter turns out to be human after all. Suddenly the wave of nausea at what he had told her turned into mirth, she couldn't contain the laughter as he sat there looking abject and miserable.  
  
"Oh god Harry." The words tumbled out of her, and suddenly a wave of relief swept over her. It was an indiscretion, sure, but after all didn't she do the same thing? No, the tart he slept with wasn't drunk, and neither was he. Or, was he? He admitted it was several months after she had started writing those letters to him, hadn't she had more to do with this than she was taking credit for? He was drunk, in a way. She knew he was vulnerable, and she had built a fire and kept it burning, no doubt the pressure had to go somewhere.  
  
"Harry, there's something I need to tell you too." He looked up at her his green eyes intense with emotion, his noble face lined with worry.  
  
She told him about the wedding, about Colin, and the aftermath. Hermione was right he needed to know, and now with all this in the open, they could rebuild what had been fractured.  
  
She told him repeatedly that she loved him, and wanted nothing to do with anyone else.  
  
Harry stood up and did the last thing she ever thought she'd see him do, he smiled. His hands were held out to her, warmly, offering her solace, and she took it.  
  
Harry listened and let the idea sink in. They had cared for one another far to long to let something like this affect them.  
  
He stood and opened his arms to her. She stood and stepped into his embrace.  
  
"We apparently are human after all Mr. Potter." She said into his chest.  
  
"Yeah, it sure looks that way Mrs. Potter." His mind reeled a bit. "I'll talk to Dumbledore; we were apart for well over a year, almost two. I won't let that happen again."  
  
She smiled, "I promise to tone down the letter Harry."  
  
"Oh," he said sounding sad. "No. No no no. don't do that."  
  
She looked up at him and smiled wickedly. "Ok then Mr. Potter, but I am going to need a lot of fuel." She kissed him deeply, and he responded to her touches and kisses.  
  
Several hours later they returned to The Burrow, the wall was coming down at last, their intimacy was returning.  
  
Their time off came with a price. Ron and Harry began teaching a class of recruits in the War Wizard training camp, days, weeks and months began to race by them.  
  
Seven weeks from when they were to leave Harry and Ginny announced to the family that she was pregnant. Harry looked miserable about leaving, but somehow more adamant to return to her, and quickly.  
  
The farewell was everything Harry had hoped for, his family was growing, and Ginny and he had managed to rebuild a trust. They had made a promise to not allow such a thing to happen again.  
  
You see me now a veteran Of a thousand psychic wars My energy is spent at last And my armor is destroyed I have used up all my weapons And I'm helpless and bereaved Wounds are all I'm made of Did I hear you say that this is victory  
  
"I'm not staying away that long again Albus." Harry said, perhaps a bit more forcibly than he had intended. "I will leave, and you can fight your own damn war." He stood firm against the berating he was sure he was going to get.  
  
Dumbledore watched Harry throughout his tirade quietly. Harry and he had gone loggerheads before, and he was sure they would again, but this time it was different, subtly different than Harry just being pigheaded.  
  
"Harry, it's not like we are keeping you here on purpose." Lupin said softly, his neutral tones in direct contrast to Harry's emotional outburst.  
  
Harry wheeled on the last Marauder. "Don't you start with me Remus. I'll not brook anything from you either." He stood before them a determined young man.  
  
"Why should now be any different, why should you be any different Harry?" Lupin asked.  
  
Harry's face hardened. "Because I am dammit. I didn't want it, I never wanted it. I'm famous, and bloody hell if I am not going to take advantage of it for once in my life." His eyes burned fiercely, a soft red tingeing the whites. "You will let me do this for my wife, and our child."  
  
Magic was almost literally dripping from the young man, his emotions so strong as to be blinding in their intensity.  
  
Lupin was startled, perhaps even more so by the expression of mute shock on Dumbledore's face than by Harry's display of power. "Harry, please!" Lupin said a bit louder than he had expected.  
  
Harry relaxed, and the glow faded. Dumbledore had collected himself, and was busy making a few notes on some parchment. "When Ginny is due Harry, you and Ron will be there." He smiled at his protégé, and handed him the parchment.  
  
Harry relaxed visibly, "Thank you Albus. I - this means a lot, to both of us." He turned and left.  
  
"Well, that was - impressive." Lupin said after Harry had left them.  
  
"Indeed Remus, Mr. Potter has become what we had hoped." He gave a short laugh. "Perhaps we should have arranged his homecoming earlier.  
  
"So, about Riddle's last know location." Dumbledore pulled out a map, and began a discussion with Lupin that lasted until well after nightfall.  
  
The next morning Harry awoke to someone kicking his cot. "Good morning sunshine, let's get moving. Special task today."  
  
Ron walked for the showers carrying his towel and toiletries. Harry grabbed his own, and followed. "Bloody hell Ron! It's still dark out!"  
  
"Keen observation, Harry. What was the giveaway? The stars or the complete lack of a sun for." he looked at his watch "five more hours."  
  
"Good lord. Where in the hell are we?" Harry asked knowing full well the camp had moved last night.  
  
Ron shrugged. "I long ago stopped caring or asking Harry."  
  
They passed Firenzie. Harry briefly considered asking him, but knew the Centaur would never answer the question, even indirectly.  
  
They got dressed and headed for the meeting. Harry saw Carly Nelson was their Spotter. She got her maps, and asked a few questions, she headed out almost immediately.  
  
He and Ron were called up then. Ron and Harry looked at each other cautiously, they were only called forward when Voldemort would be present. Or when they thought they might see him.  
  
"Harry, we found him. I know you are fresh back, but the last two months have been spent preparing for this fight. If he shows, you know what to do." Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "This could end it Harry. End it all, for all of us."  
  
Harry nodded. He understood exactly. They would go home. "I'm ready Albus."  
  
Moody talked in whispers to Ron. Ron's face hardened, and he simply nodded in response.  
  
They were handed port keys. Dumbledore placed a hand on their shoulders. "Come back safely."  
  
They went to the Apparation point, and got the first jump point from Carly. "Let's go then Harry." Ron said pulling out his wand.  
  
"Yeah, let's go." Harry's mind wandered back to Ginny and their last night together. His heart filled with warmth, and he followed Ron on the jumps.  
  
They were standing on a mesa in what Harry could only guess was the southwest of the United States. The sun would not rise for another couple of hours, and they saw the encampment a little ways away. From here they could Apparate directly over. Carly had spotted the Apparation point for the bulk of the unit, and they watched as the unit popped into the camp forcibly.  
  
Then they saw him. Harry moved quickly, Ron right behind him. They appeared right behind him; Ron placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Let's do this mate." He concentrated on Harry, adding his own power to Harry's incredible reserves.  
  
Harry began the charm he had used so long ago to destroy another Voldemort, in another world.  
  
This time was almost anti-climactic for him. He felt the surge of power from Voldemort's death, and screamed out in agony. The wave pulsed out from him, everyone feeling the wave. The battle stopped around him, Ron touched the Portkey just as he and Harry lost consciousness.  
  
Harry woke up in the hospital. He knew it was by the generic whiteness, and the crispness of the sheets. Only hospitals have these kinds of sheets.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak, and felt like his mouth was made from old shoe leather. He tried again, and a small croak came out.  
  
He looked around, and could not see his glasses, but did find a cup with some water in it. He drank it greedily, savoring the taste, and feel. God I'm out of it. He felt around and checked that all his parts were intact.  
  
"Thank goodness." Now to find Dumbledore, I want to go home. I can rest up there as well as here. He thought to himself.  
  
He stood shakily, and looked down at his legs. They felt old like he had not used them in ages. He concentrated, and felt a wave of healing energy flow through him. There, that's better then. He smiled, and looked for something more appropriate than the hospital gown he was wearing.  
  
My god, I'm in St. Mungo's. He recognized the place suddenly from Mr. Weasley's stay in his fifth year. He had no robes, and his wand was nowhere in sight. "Accio wand."  
  
He felt a tug in the palm of his hand, and heard a 'crack', and a tinkling of glass. His wand flew into his hand, the window of his room broken. Sheepishly, he repaired the window, and transformed his gown into simple robes.  
  
He left the room and found himself in the long-term care ward. This is damned peculiar. As he wandered the halls looking for the stairwell he was becoming more and more confused. What in the hell is going on here?  
  
He saw a nurse. "Pardon me, but could I have a word?"  
  
She looked at him and frowned. "Are you lost Mr.?" Her voice leaving the hanging empty spot for him to fill in.  
  
"Potter. Now I have some questions." Harry said becoming distressed.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous." She said. "There are only three Potters left, one is in a room down the hall, and the other two are defiantly not you. Now get out before I call security."  
  
Harry looked around again, his mind churning. "What do you mean three?" he grabbed the nurse again and forced her to actually look at him.  
  
Her eyes suddenly grew wide. "Mr. Potter! You are awake!"  
  
"Obviously." His humor was not returning to him. "Why am I in St. Mungo's?"  
  
"You were brought here after you defeated You-Know-Who!" she said talking as if he were five.  
  
"Cut the crap. When was I brought here? How long have I been here?"  
  
An older gentleman touched his shoulder. "Mr. Potter, so good to see you awake, if you'll follow me then."  
  
Harry let the nurse go, and followed the doctor to a small room. The doctor pulled out his wand and cast a locking charm on the door and a silencing charm as well. He turned to Harry still holding the wand.  
  
Harry's eyes narrowed. "Put the wand down, doctor or you could regret it. I have killed before, and I am more than willing to do it again."  
  
The doctor looked shocked and the wand clattered to the floor from his nerveless fingers. "It's I - I mean, I thought you'd like some privacy, while - while we go over your case."  
  
"I only want to know one thing. How long have I been here?" Harry reached out with his hand. "Accio wand." The doctor's wand leapt into Harry's hand.  
  
"You were brought in straight away, you and Mr. Weasley, your Portkey was assigned to the emergency ward by Albus Dumbledore." He read from a paper. "You were both badly hurt, though Mr. Weasley was released shortly after to recuperate at home."  
  
"How long ago did Ron leave?"  
  
"Mr. Weasley was released." He consulted the charts "December 11th 2005."  
  
Harry did a quick calculation that would have been four months after he had last seen Ginny. "How long ago was that?"  
  
The doctor cleared his throat. "Ah, Mr. Potter perhaps you should sit down."  
  
Harry did, still keeping the doctor's wand trained on him. His own wand was hidden in his sleeve. "It is now July 31st 2010."  
  
Two wands hit the floor. Harry felt the emotions fuel a fire inside him. "NO! Damn it all to hell! NO!"  
  
The doctor had heard of Harry Potter, and heard of the awesome power contained in the figure before him, but had never witness this kind of release. His eyes glowed red, and the doctor years later would swear he could see the magic manifested in Harry Potter.  
  
"M - Mister Potter."  
  
"Accio Wand!" Harry's wand snapped into his hand. The doctor watched in horror as Harry cast a Disapparation spell, and vanished. All around him alarms were set off, and the door to the room broke open minutes later. Aurors were questioning the doctor on who it was who had cast that spell.  
  
Seconds later a thunderous crack sounded outside the Burrow. Harry staggered a bit, but regained his footing and lurched to the door. It opened to reveal Ron. Harry had his wand trained on him.  
  
"Who in the hell." Ron dropped his own wand and reached for Harry. "Good lord mate! How in the hell did you." Then he saw the Aurors.  
  
"Harry, behind you!" Ron grabbed his wand.  
  
Harry turned. He saw seven people walking towards him. "Harry Potter." The lead one called. "Put down your wand, sir, we want to talk to you."  
  
"Go to hell. I am here to see my family. Leave me alone." Harry reached deep down, and Ron watched in amazement as a semi-solid barrier appeared around the Burrow. He turned to Ron. "Where's Ginny Ron?"  
  
Ron pulled him into the house still looking at the shield. "Gods Harry, how in the bloody hell."  
  
"Riddle knew a lot more than we gave him credit for." Harry gave a short, barking laugh.  
  
Ron looked at his friend. "You are weak mate. Sit down, I'll get Ginny."  
  
Ron scrambled upstairs and Harry heard some noises coming from their room, there was a squeal of delight, and Ginny burst into view. She collided with him, knocking him into the couch. "Harry." she managed between kisses. "Oh god it's true."  
  
"What's true?" Harry asked.  
  
"It's all over WWN, how you woke up and broke out of St. Mungo's." Her eyes got misty. "You could have waited you great prat!" She hit him playfully. "Oh but god I'm glad you didn't."  
  
She kissed him, deeply. "Oh, I am so selfish!" She stood and drug him upstairs. A small girl with long black hair and brown eyes looked up at him was playing with toys on the floor, the radio in the background was tuned to the WWN, and Harry caught the reporters words ".is still at large and should be considered potentially dangerous. He may be experiencing a relapse to the war. Please use caution when approaching Mr. Potter, as he may not be in full awareness of his surroundings."  
  
Harry laughed, and he looked down at the little girl. "Hello." He said softly.  
  
Her voice was clear and full of life. "Daddy! You are awake!"  
  
He smiled and reached down for her, and she launched herself into his arms. Harry staggered back a step holding her close.  
  
"Now Megan, daddy just got out of the hospital. Be gentle." Ron said smirking. "Oh, Harry, as much as I enjoy a good show off, perhaps if you let the shield down, we could speak with the Aurors and clear up this whole 'menace at large' thing?"  
  
Harry smiled, "Sure Ron, so long as they know I'm not going back to the Hospital."  
  
Harry reached out and dismantled the shield he had erected. Ron walked outside, followed by Harry still holding his daughter to him.  
  
Ron looked at the lead Auror. "Peterson for god's sake man put your damn wand down. Do you honestly think you could do anything to this man?"  
  
The Auror seemed ashamed, and put down his wand. Ron glared at them all. "You are bloody lucky he just defended himself rather than just making you miserable lot disappear. I want a full report on my desk no later than 10 am, clear?"  
  
"Yes sir!" they said and disappeared.  
  
Harry looked at Ron. "I take it you know them?"  
  
Ron smiled. "Well, I was offered the head of MLE after the war and well."  
  
Harry smiled. "Well done Ron."  
  
His friend grinned at him, blushing with the compliment. "Yeah, well I had better to clear all this up. Alright Harry?"  
  
"Alright Ron." Harry watched Ron Disapparate, and he turned back to the house.  
  
Ginny smiled at him. "We have a lot of catching up to do Mr. Potter."  
  
They walked arm in arm into The Burrow, with a small child clutched in her father's arms for the first time in her memory.  
  
Ron sat at work looking over paperwork when suddenly a nagging thought struck him. He looked at his calendar. "Damn!"  
  
He stood grabbing a few items and called out to his secretary. "I'm off to see the Minister. I doubt I'll be back today."  
  
She smirked at him. "Say hi to your dad from me too."  
  
Ron grinned at her cheekily. "Sometimes it's good to know people in high places."  
  
She laughed and waved Ron on. She had served the last head of MLE, and Ron had proven an exemplary replacement. His skills honed from three years of war were more than a match for ensuring the training and skills of the Aurors.  
  
She looked at his calendar and noticed something written there. It had been a long standing appointment. HP Birthday.  
  
She frowned slightly, and looked over at one of the other office workers. "Anyone know who HP is in Mr. Weasley's calendar?"  
  
A laugh sounded from one of the file clerks. "HP would be Harry Potter, today is his birthday, poor bloke, to have missed so much of his life."  
  
Ron stood outside the door, a trick his dad showed him, listening to the conversation behind him. He had learned a thing or two this way, and while at first feeling guilty about it, later found out a few things about how he did things that made his people like him even more.  
  
He slipped down the hall to his dad's office. Within an hour they were heading out to Diagon Alley.  
  
Don't let these shakes go on It's time we had a break from it Send me to the rear Where the tides of madness swell And been sliding into hell Oh, please don't let shakes go on Don't let these shakes go on Don't let these shakes go on  
  
Harry sat behind the table and looked down on the rows and rows of students standing before him. It was an odd feeling sitting here, and at times he wistfully imagined himself sitting at the Gryffindor table with Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, and so many other students.  
  
Today was no different really. The Deputy Headmistress stood before the first year students. The Sorting Hat was balanced on the stool waiting for them.  
  
Hermione unfurled the parchment. "When I call your name, step forward, pick up the hat, sit on the stool and place it on your head and wait for your house to be called."  
  
Harry hid a smile behind his hand, and leaned over to the Charms teacher. "Well, what do you think of our chances this year?" Harry asked the redhead beside him.  
  
She slapped him on the leg where the students would not see. "Stop it you git."  
  
Harry smiled at Ginny. Dumbledore had left word that when Harry woke up he should be offered a position as the DADA instructor, a post he had been forced into taking by Kingsley Shacklebolt, the current head of MLE. It had been decided that an Auror would hold the position of DADA instructor on a rotating basis. Harry had lost this year.  
  
Ron had been overjoyed when Hermione had been chosen Deputy Headmistress, after McGonagall had retired. Sadly Albus never lived to see Harry take the post as DADA.  
  
Harry looked over at Flitwick, the Headmaster since Dumbledore had passed on, and smiled. Flitwick winked at Harry and a small scrap of paper skated across the table top stopping in front if him.  
  
If she's not in Gryffindor, I'll eat the hat.  
  
Harry smiled and nodded back to Flitwick.  
  
"Potter, Megan" Hermione called.  
  
Harry watched his daughter sit. The hat barely brushed her head and the hat practically shouted "A Potter and a Weasley? Good heavens there's no question there; GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
Harry caught Flitwick clapping happily and he turned to Ginny who was looking relieved and happy. He passed her Flitwick's note, and she grinned back at the Headmaster. 


End file.
